So Ziggy Switkowski is out as CEO of Telstra with a golden handshake of only $2.1 million. This seems a little unfair – executives with far worse records have got much more – but executive compensation remains a mystery to me. Perhaps the new book Pay without Performance will help me here.
Ziggy was a mate of Richard Alston (whose admiring assessment is currently enjoying top billing under my photo) but it seems that Peter Costello is less impressed. Since most of the internal candidates are implicated in Switkowski’s bad decisions, his replacement seems to be a bit of a problem.
On reflection, I’ve decided that I would be a great choice for this job. On almost every issue Switkowski and Alston got wrong, I was on the public record pointing this out and advocating something more sensible. For example:
* I said in 1996 that partial privatisation was ‘the worst of all possible worlds‘, as Costello now agrees[1]
* I opposed the great cable race between Telstra and Optus in 1996 and 1997
* I condemned Switkowski’s offshore ventures which were later closed down with huge losses
* I proposed selling off the dotcom part of the business in March 2000, just before the crash
* I attacked the idea of buying newspapers and TV stations, which ultimately sank both Switkowski and his CEO Bob Mansfield.
Based on this track record, I ought to do pretty well as CEO. But wait, there’s more! If I stuff up, I promise to leave with a token payment of $999, 999.99. That’s right! Less than a million dollars!
Please write to the shareholding ministers, Coonan and Minchin to support my candidacy.
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